The Pain of Being Misdiagnosed: My ADHD Journey as a Woman
Why I'm Sharing This For years, I felt like something was wrong with me. Like I was broken, overly sensitive, or just not trying hard enough. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with ADHD in...
The Pain of Being Misdiagnosed: My ADHD Journey as a Woman
Why I'm Sharing This
For years, I felt like something was wrong with me. Like I was broken, overly sensitive, or just not trying hard enough. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s that everything started to make sense.
I'm sharing this because too many women are still being overlooked, misdiagnosed, or dismissed. If even one woman reads this and feels seen, or finds the courage to explore what might really be going on for her, then it's worth it.
The Early Signs I Missed
"You're just oversensitive"
Since childhood, I was told I felt things too deeply. I was often called naughty, oversensitive, and sometimes disruptive.
From an incredibly young age, I had a strong sense of right and wrong. If something felt unjust, I would fight it with everything I had. That often came across as answering back or being argumentative, but what I was really doing was recognising injustice and trying to stand up against it, even as a child.
I now recognise that this intense reaction to perceived injustice is actually very common in people with ADHD. Research and lived experience both suggest that individuals with ADHD tend to have a heightened sense of fairness and justice. This is thought to be linked to emotional intensity, low frustration tolerance, and a deep sensitivity to inconsistency or hypocrisy. When something feels unfair, it doesn’t just feel wrong, it can feel unbearable.
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I was smart, mischievous, and deeply sensitive
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I was also determined, competitive and creative
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My emotions felt big and overwhelming
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I didn’t mask well, I stood out at school as disruptive and naughty
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I was the first child in the history of Ashburton Junior School to be put on report
Teenage Turmoil
As a teenager, I thought I was just like every other girl struggling with hormones and mood swings. I didn’t know that what I was feeling could be signs of something deeper.
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I felt different, like I didn’t fit
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I often hid out in the music room with my favourite teachers, Mr and Mrs Aston, who made me feel safe and accepted
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Intense emotional ups and downs
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Struggles with self-esteem and overwhelm
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Difficulty staying organised and focused
Misdiagnosed and Misunderstood
Years in Therapy, Still No Answers
In my early twenties, I began therapy. Week after week, I spoke about how deeply rejection affected me (or should I say perceived rejection). I now know this is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a common trait in ADHD. But back then, it was brushed off as "just anxiety" or "childhood trauma."
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I had a good childhood, but my emotions were always pinned on trauma
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I was prescribed SSRIs from a young age
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My therapist never mentioned ADHD, even after years of sessions. I was completely let down by her. I saw her for years and the signs were there, staring her in the face. Same with my GP.
The Breaking Point
By the time I was 32, I hit rock bottom. I remember crying in therapy, saying it physically hurt. That something wasn’t right. Still, the suggestion was more trauma work, like EMDR. I was devastated. How could I feel so misunderstood by the very person who knew me best?
The Turning Point
Finding Answers Through Community
It wasn't a doctor who changed things. It was a friend who mentioned her daughter had ADHD, and she saw similarities in me. Shout out to Helen for being brave enough to confront me about this because she changed my life.
I remember her saying that she saw me thrive in my work and business, but then struggle with day-to-day stuff and remembering things. Around the same time, I started seeing ADHD content on social media, and suddenly I saw myself in every post.
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The emotional intensity
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The disorganisation and overwhelm
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The racing mind and mental fatigue
Everything clicked.
Finally, a Diagnosis
I booked a private assessment and within three months, I had my diagnosis. ADHD. Not anxiety. Not trauma. Not broken. Just a brain that works differently. A brain that finally made sense.
Why Women Are So Often Missed
Many women with ADHD are misdiagnosed with:
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Anxiety
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Depression
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Borderline Personality Disorder
This is often because:
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We internalise symptoms instead of acting out
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We mask constantly to appear "together"
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We’re told our struggles are just part of being a woman
The truth is, ADHD in women often looks very different to the stereotypical image of a hyperactive little boy. And until the system catches up, stories like mine will keep repeating.
If You Feel This Too
If you're reading this and thinking, "This sounds like me," please know:
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You're not alone
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You're not broken
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You're not too emotional or lazy or failing
You're likely carrying an invisible burden that no one taught you to recognise.
What You Can Do
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Speak to your GP and ask for a referral (though wait times can be long)
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Consider a private ADHD assessment if accessible to you
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Read about ADHD in women to better understand your symptoms
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Follow neurodivergent creators and communities online
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Talk to people you trust
Helpful Resources
Here are a few places to start:
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The blog on Noops Nootropics for more lived experiences and support
Why I Created Noops Nootropics
This journey inspired me to create Noops Nootropics, to offer natural support for energy, focus, calm, and emotional steadiness. It’s not a cure for ADHD, but it’s a companion for the journey. Something to support overwhelmed minds, like mine was for so long.
If you're just starting to explore this, I see you. And I’m here.
With love,
Nicola
Founder, Noops Nootropics 💜
- Tags: ADHD in Women Nic’s Story
